BREAKING: No Way Egypt Coming Out Of This With A Functional Democracy
CAIRO—Following countrywide protests against President
Mohamed Morsi’s sweeping assertions of executive power, sources
confirmed Tuesday that, just so you know, there’s no chance whatsoever
that Egypt is emerging from all this with a functional and active
democracy. “These decrees are temporary and exist only to ensure a
smooth transition to a representative government for all Egyptians,”
Morsi said in a recent statement, which, to be clear, is not indicative
of anything that will actually happen and only masks an inevitable
future in which the fundamental democratic rights of every Egyptian
citizen continue to be oppressed. “This level of authority is necessary
in order to implement a new constitution, appoint a democratically
elected parliament, and [a bunch of other carefully crafted rhetorical
bullshit that is totally meaningless since the people of Egypt will in
no way be allowed to have any real say in the political or ideological
future of their country, which, again, will not in reality resemble
anything close to a true democracy whether this guy remains in power or
not].” Sources also concluded that, in case you were wondering, many
more protesters are going to wind up in jail or dead by the time this
thing is all over.
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